April Fools ;) Features

Mr. DeBois Leaves Mills to Pursue Dog’s Modeling Career

By: Phoebe Piserchio, Staff Writer

After just one year on the Viking ship, Mike DeBois, beloved science teacher for Biology and AP Environmental, has recently announced his resignation to pursue his dog Selene’s modeling career. DeBois submitted a formal letter of resignation to Principal Duszynski late Friday afternoon before Spring Break. He announced his plans to his students via email a few hours later. The email read:

Hello students! I hope you are looking forward to a relaxing spring break after all your hard work. I’m writing with a bit of personal news that may come as a shock to you all. Recently, a video of my dog, Selene, went viral on TikTok (over 1M views!). Without going into too many details, I accepted a contract with a dog modeling agency in Los Angeles, which requires me to leave Mills. I’ll complete the school year with you, and treasure these last couple months. It was a bittersweet decision because of you all, but I felt this would be best for Selene. With regards, Mr. DeBois

Within the hour, replies started flooding in from students. Many expressed disappointment and anger, including phrases like: “Why are you leaving us?” and “How could you do this to us?” followed by sad or furious emojis. Others were more supportive, saying “Good luck!” and “Happy for Selene!” followed by dog emojis.

Despite it being his first year at Mills, DeBois has quickly become a popular teacher. A group of students, led by Joey Situ, have gone on a strike to protest DeBois’ resignation. Often heard chanting in center court, “Don’t depart, DeBois!”, the group has refused to attend his class since the announcement. During lunchtime, the group collects signatures for a petition to get DeBois to stay. Currently, they have 32 signatures, and it’s not looking good. “Wow,” said DeBois, when asked about the petition. “I honestly have no words. To the students who have been missing class, assignments are posted in Canvas if you want to make it up for a grade.”

One student of DeBois, speaking anonymously, said he was not surprised by his teacher’s sudden change of direction. “Dude, like, Mr. DeBois has this one picture of him and Selene everywhere.” DeBois recently opened up to the Thunderbolt, saying: “[Selene] is the light of my life. I’ve always seen something in her – something… more. She has an Instagram account, you know. Over nine thousand followers. But, it wasn’t until I posted a video of her on TikTok that I realized she could be so much more than an Instagram dog,” he stated, a proud look on his face. He went on to say how Selene has finally found her calling – to model for Diva Dogs, the premier talent agency for canines. Their past clients include the dogs that played Lassie, Beethoven, and Air Bud, as well as the famous dog model Boo, the ‘Cutest Dog in the World.’ Jo McBeagle, CEO of Diva Dogs, said, “…Oh yeah, Selene is the next big thing. We want Mike [DeBois] here ASAP to get Selene on the runway in time for the summer collection.” McBeagle was referring to an upcoming line of high end clothing for canines from the company, Doggy Dior, recently featured on Shark Tank


Unfazed by the backlash from students, DeBois has booked his and Selene’s first class, one-way tickets to LAX and his bags are packed over a month early. Fellow teacher and friend of DeBois, Mr. Wang shared his thoughts on the situation. “This is the happiest he’s ever been. He always brags about Selene, so to see her recognized in this way is incredibly exciting.”