By Vanessa Nguyen, Staff Writer
TW: mentions of rape, sexual assult
The Rape Trauma Service is a center for rape victims and survivors. RTS visits schools around San Mateo County to spread information on ways to seek help when dealing with an abusive relationship or environment, as well as prevention of violence. Their main goal is to eliminate all abuse, violence and/or sexual assult. RTS came to Mills High School to explain to our students the importance of boundaries and consent. By using engaging activities, they explain ways that people could ask for consent and set boundaries for themselves to make sure they are safe , helping us remember how and when to ask for consent.
Sexual assault is a sensitive topic for a lot of people. It’s a horrific act that attacks one of six women in America and not every one of them speaks up about it. Rape comes with a feeling of fear and toxicity that’s hard to open up about and that’s what RTS is there for. They help the silenced find their voices again and guide them to leave an abusive relationship behind. They help people to find a healthy relationship with boundaries and consent. Being in an abusive relationship is difficult to leave because the victim could be dependent on the person. Victims sometimes rely on their abuser for some reason whether it’s money, love, or a false sense of safety. Other times, the person could be threatening them, saying they would harm them or themselves. Many victims don’t realize they are being coerced. RTS explained that bribery, blackmail, or threats are all forms of coercion, and none of them are ‘consensual’. Whatever the reason may be, RTS helps them realize the harms of staying and offers a reliable source to guide everyone to safety.
In society, rape and assault are commonly misconcepted. Sometimes victims feel forced to stay silent in fear of rejection or being blamed, or other consequences. A call for help may not actually help and may lead people to blaming the victim for “not wearing enough clothes’ ‘ or “being out too late”. Along with the traumatizing experience of the assault in the first place, victims have to confront the situation afterward not knowing the reaction of their trusted ones. They could be shamed for what happened; be called names, even if that’s not at all what’s supposed to happen. This mentality is known as ‘victim blaming’. Other possible consequences are that victims don’t get the proper protection and help, and the assaulter might come back. Many start victim blaming because of ‘rape culture’. Rape culture is where being rape or sex is applauded for males but shamed on females. This could make it harder to open up and add to the horrifying feeling of disgust and fear hovering over them. No one should ever have to feel trapped or isolated after this type of situation. Everyone should have a source to report to when they feel the need to ask for help, and RTS is one such option.
RTS explains to us that sexual assault could be many things that don’t even include rape. They teach us about setting boundaries and that if those boundaries are broken, what one could do afterwards. A slideshow presentation showed five easy ways to remember how to make boundaries and how to set them in place. The acronym ‘fries’ was used to help students remember consent. F is free choice, meaning both people can say no freely. R stands for revocable, so people can stop or change their mind anytime. I represent informed, which means people only receive what they consent to. A common break to this idea is stealthing, which is removing a condom without consent, which is illegal. E means enthusiastic: body language is important and yes means yes. S is specific, meaning a new yes for everything.
On their website, https://www.rapetraumaservices.org/, they explain different ways to engage in seeking help. At first glance, the sight shows information about their newsletter and volunteer options. Once you look around for a while and see the different ways this center could help you, you’ll find a page that shows what they do. They offer a 24 hour crisis hotline along with resources for other hotlines that can help you out. They have seperate counseling groups for children and women veterans as well. For children to expand their knowledge on this sensitive topic, they set up workshops in schools that would educate them on what they need to know before going out in the world.
Sexual assult is a scary topic, but you don’t have to go through things alone. This program allows a safe environment for anyone of all genders and ages to report and find ways to ask for help.
