It’s unclear when it began, but for weeks now, accidents around Mills have occurred that all point to the same culprit.
The first sign was on a seemingly normal school day. Dutifulling reading The Crucible in her Ap Lang class, sensitive junior, Kayli Tsang, was taken aback when she noticed something falling onto her book; noting that it resembled the classroom’s ceiling. Instinctively, she looked up only to be frozen in shock when her eyes locked on to the ceiling. Right above her head was a hole, and inside she could see a small shape shifting around. Being the good student she was, Kayli dismissed this in favor of finishing up her book. Not even a second later, she heard a loud squeak and when she looked back up, a rat landed on her face. The class quickly descended into chaos, Kayli screamed so loudly students in the math hall would later question their friends if they had also heard a noise, the other juniors around her leaped out of their desks in fear, and Mr. Pretto, the brave man he is, scrambled to run out of the classroom.
The second sign was only two days later. When Mr. Lira or Ms. Donohoe, idk who will agree to beginning in this, walked into their classroom early in the morning, only to find half of the students desks missing parts of the wooden top. “It was nothing I had ever seen before,” Mr/Ms. Lira/Donohoe commented, still shaken up. There was wood dust on the floors and the desks had little bite marks in the shape of John Williams’ face. Lira commented, “Ig i’ve played so much John Williams that even the termites have been converted to diehard fans, totally mortified.” Unable to get replacement desks, the unsettled history teacher had to move his/hers class to the library.
By the second sign, it seemed clear was the issue was….Termites‼️😨
These little wood munchers munch on wood and Other StuffTM, and it seems the Mills High School ceiling and desks are their preferred wood and Other StuffTM of choice. These nasty little munchers are causing desks to lose their sole function by the hour and holes in the ceiling to pop up. Resident reluctant rat catcher, Kayli Tsang, comments on the issue. “After being subjected to three Rat AttacksTM, I can’t do it anymore. I’ve resorted to just wearing one of those umbrella hats in class.” Rat AttacksTM, coined by the student body, describes the act of a rat falling from the ceiling onto a student.
The administration is currently struggling to find a quick solution. With more desks getting ruined, students are left either learning in the library, outside, or on the floor of their dusty classrooms. Each day students weep at their loss of proper seating, mourning the days of metal seats, back cracking, and dust free hair.
Since the issue is relatively new, there is no official update or solution to this horrid situation. Will students be forced to learn on the floors forever? We may never know, since this article is fake.
