By: Hayden Bunce, Staff Writer

If you love Timothee Chalamet or even hate him, you’ll need to be prepared to see him on your big screens until the end of time. It was recently announced that he will star in every movie. Not to be biased, but I’m overjoyed as a Chalastan. This ability to star in every movie comes with technology that can only be created by the smartest mind in the world

Rumor has it that since our current president is such a huge fan of the actor, Tesla is creating a time machine that will make it possible for Timothee Chalamet to star in every movie. However, don’t ask us for any more information other than that the time machine is being created because apparently, our pea-sized brains aren’t intelligent enough to understand this time machine technology. With this news coming out, there is excitement among other Chalastans throughout the school.

With this announcement, I had to ask the biggest Timothee Chalamet fan her thoughts on this news, and no it’s not Club Chalamet. Freshman Suri Rastani  had a lot to say about this, “I’m so excited, I feel that this is like this is his true breakthrough and like he just deserves the recognition that he’s getting.” Considering she is married to Timothee (move over Kylie) she has a lot to say about him as the world’s biggest  Chalastan. Despite my excitement, I’m worried about other actors like Ai-drien Brody.

If as a society we put all our focus on a singular actor what happens to the other talented actors who don’t get that moment to shine like the dwarves in the new Snow White movie? He couldn’t be a dwarf but they could do the Call Me by Your Name peach scene. With that insight, I hope we remember to focus on the true stars of Hollywood like Ai-drien Brody.

I can’t wait to see what this Tesla movie time machine has in store for Timothee Chalamet. I would personally just love to see his take on Humphrey Bogart’s character in Casablancas. Like Suri or Club Chalamet, I hope you are excited to see the Chalatakeover.