By: Meera Singh, Staff Writer

Love. It’s the main thing on most people’s minds, making people somewhat obsessed with it. The media makes sure to keep up with this frenzy, making it an even more sought after emotion, and in most cases, a need. Hollywood makes sure to show different storylines all leading back to a romance gone right, making people believe that love and getting into a relationship is the resolution to every problem. Another person there, doting on a person’s every need is a dream for everyone. Every relationship in the media’s eyes are beautiful and will always end up in rainbows and hearts. They stay together, and treat each other with respect and happiness. However, not all relationships can be a movie ending in a romantic kiss in the rain or moving across the country for someone you love. Romantic relationships can also be an unhealthy addiction to a person’s life, muddling the true meaning of love. In high school, sadly, most of these relationships end up to be unhealthy at a whopping 95% being broken up with and 21% in domestic abuse according to NCADV statistics. 

There are many ways to see if love is blinding a person in the form of red flags. In high school especially, it is very easy to have an idea of love, and get excited when a person is even into you enough to date that it blinds a person of their true character. According to Teen Vogue, a popular teen magazine with some advice towards teens, it is very easy to see some red flags in a relationship. One of the big things they have outlined, which in the case of most students seems to ring true, is that if your significant other does not get along with your friends nor tries to, they seem to be a selfish person. Personally, I have seen this happen with many of my friends, a friend of mine appeared to be in a toxic relationship and the significant other did not make an attempt to make conversation with any of my friend group as well. Secondly, controlling behavior and manipulative behavior, such as restricting who you hang and interact with, is also a huge red flag that occurs in both high school and adult relationships. This type of behavior makes relationships more toxic as social interactions with others becomes limited and dependency on each other increases. Finally, if you seem to make many excuses for your significant other, it causes a deterioration in your personal mental health that creates a cycle of toxicity and a feeling of trappedness. These are three main red flags that I can personally corroborate that seem to be prevalent in relationships that are going to go sour or are seemingly unhealthy.

Now, while it may be true that many of the high school relationships do fail, it’s also easy to see which are healthy, and honestly good for growth. At Mills, many of the students seem to come out of relationships very grown up and mature. Healthy relationships start with a person able to be independant and also able to come together and be supportive of one another. However cliche the saying is, communication is key- making sure to talk about the little things are just as important as the big things, like whether or not you want to see them or your friends a certain day. To be able to talk about these things helps to create a healthy environment and also build a foundation as friends before moving into a relationship. It is easy to focus all your energy on another person, but to keep it healthy, your significant other should encourage you to focus on yourself to keep that independance. Being in a relationship should not be a burden, but rather a happy addition to your life. It’s easy to blame another person, but you should also be aware of yourself, and make sure to recognize where you can help yourself to keep the relationship healthy. 

To conclude, Love is a complicated and unpredictable emotion. It can blind you at times, but it can also help you grow as a person and with another person. Unhealthy relationships stunt this growth and can be seriously detrimental to a person’s mental health, especially in high school, where the most shaping years of a young person’s life occur. Healthy relationships can help during these years as well because of the stability they provide a person. However, it is okay to be single, love can wait, make sure to be your own person now.

Photo Credit:  Valentin Antonucci on Unsplash