By: Samantha Chen; Staff Writer
Love is a complicated and interesting emotion between two people. It can be expressed and perceived in many different ways. Common ways of expressing love can be categorized into 5 groups: quality time, physical touch, words of affirmation, acts of service, and gift giving/receiving. These groups were originally created in 1992 by Gary Chapman who recognized that couples were just misunderstanding each other’s ways of expressing their love.
A very common love language for everyone would be quality time together. A partner who values quality time enjoys having the company of their significant other. This can be expressed by desiring to be engaged and have the others undivided attention. This strengthens the connection and helps make for a lasting relationship. As long as their partner is attentive to them, they will feel loved.
Another love language is physical touch. Those who express love through physical touch show this through hugging, holding hands, kissing, and cuddling. Though this love language may be hard for some people as they are uncomfortable with the nature of this love language. This may make it complicated as the person who desires to receive love through physical touch may feel underappreciated. While others may be uncomfortable and feel that their partner is being too needy and clingy.
Words of affirmation are also in the group of love languages. This is when one feels loved just by positive phrases and or words which express love from their partner. They value communication and use positive words and uplifting phrases to express their love. Those who receive love through words of affirmation feel happiness and fulfillment when unexpectedly praised or complimented. These words could not only help one feel love and appreciated but can boost self confidence and self-esteem. On the other hand, like many things there are ups and downs. For many, some find it difficult to express and state how they feel and affirm their love to their significant other. Some words which may seem kind and supporting can unintentionally be taken the wrong way and do more harm than good.
Acts of service can also, like anything else, be harmful. Examples of acts of service include driving, cooking, cleaning, and caring for their partner. Though this is appreciated by some, it may be incompatible with others. Those who value physical touch and quality time more may find it hard to feel loved since their partner is occupied doing things to express their love.
Similarly, receiving and gift giving are another way to express love. Partners who value gift giving and/or receiving often do this to reaffirm their relationship and to show how much they care. Though receiving gifts and giving gifts seem similar, they can be quite different. Those who like giving gifts enjoy and receive satisfaction from the gesture and do not necessarily need to receive a gift in return. However, there are those who are not comfortable receiving gifts as they feel an obligation to do so in return. Some find it hard to feign excitement and fear that they may disappoint the gift giver.
Love languages are ways that people express their love and appreciation for their significant other. This helps people understand each other and please each other. Though there can be amazing things about love, it can become a double-edged sword and not always be accepted in the way it was intended. Though it’s important to acknowledge that the relationship may not always go in the way it is expected to, love languages can help bring people together.
